For Now (Forever Book 1) Read online

  “Thanks,” he says.

  “No problem. I also left you some food for you, if you want it when we stop.”

  “Man, having you around is the best decision these guys have ever made. They should hire you as their cook for the next tour.”

  I laugh as I so go sit down to eat. “So, what is everyone doing today?” I ask.

  “Well, I think we are going back to bed after breakfast and sleeping.” Ryder yawns. The rest of the band, nods in agreement.

  “We are in New York City and you guys want to sleep?”

  “I’ll take you to see some sights,” Cam offers.

  “Are you sure?” I ask.

  “Yes, just let me go get ready and we’ll head out as soon as we get there.”

  When we pull into the parking lot, Cam emerges from the bathroom. “Are you ready to go?” he asks me. The rest of the guys have already retreated back to bed.

  I nod enthusiastically. The last time we went sightseeing, it was fun, so I’m sure today will be just as great. Who couldn’t have a great time in New York City?

  “Where to?” he asks as we step out of the bus.

  “Well, anywhere would be great, but I’ve always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty, Time Square and Central Park.”

  Cam hails a cab and we get in. “Statue of Liberty.”

  I’m watching out the window as we drive, taking it all in. “Thanks for doing this with me.”

  “Stop, you don’t have to keep thanking me. I enjoy doing it with you.”

  When the cab stops, we get out and board the ferry to Ellis Island. We spend a few hours exploring before we decide to head to Time Square.

  Time Square is huge and amazing, none of the pictures that I’ve seen can compare. I take several pictures to send back to Karen, Jackson and Amy. Cam snaps a few pictures of the two of us.

  “Hungry?” he asks.

  “Yes, I’m starving. Can we do a hot dog in Central Park, please?”

  “You are incredibly easy to please. If you’re good, I might even buy you two.” Cam jokes.

  We head to the park and find a hot dog vendor before finding a nice shady place to sit and people watch. The park is pretty busy today, there are people running, moms pushing strollers, kids playing and people just sitting and people watching like us.

  “Do you ever wonder about their stories?” I ask Cam.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, everyone has a story, things going on in their life that you might not ever expect. I see all these people and can’t help but wonder about their stories.”

  “I guess, I never thought about it. You could always go ask them.”

  I laugh, “No, I prefer to make up my own stories for them.”

  “Give me an example,” Cam chuckles.

  I look around. “Okay, you see that lady over there, the one lying down reading a book? She is a mother of five and once a month her husband tells her to sends her to the park for an afternoon all to herself. She reads books, drinks coffee and doesn’t have to worry about anything.”

  “Okay, pretty good. What about that young couple over there?”

  “The teenagers making out on the bench?”

  “Yeah, they’re international spies.”

  “What?” I laugh. “They are like sixteen.”

  “That is all part of their disguise.”

  “There’s no way that she could do any secret spy stuff in those shoes.”

  “She’s obviously had a lot of practice.”

  “You’re so bad at this,” I laugh.

  We spend the next few hours people watching and making up stories for people. Cam is the funniest person, I think I’ve ever met. He isn’t like that all the time, but when it is just the two of us, he seems to let down a guard that he has up.

  Cam looks at his watch. “Oh, wow, we need to head back to get ready for the play. I didn’t realize how late it was getting.” He stands and reaches for my hand to help me up.

  “Thanks for today, it has been incredible,” I tell him.

  **********

  “Are you ready yet?” Ryder shouts through the bathroom door. “I really just want to get this over with,” he groans.

  “I’ll be out in two minutes,” I tell him. I took extra time getting ready because I’m super nervous about tonight, but I wouldn’t miss this show for anything.

  I walk out into the living area of the bus, Ryder and Cam both stop their conversation and look at me.

  “Maybe tonight won’t suck so much, since I get to sit next to you in that dress,” Ryder says with a wink. I’m wearing a dress that the personal shopper picked out for me. It is a black, knee length dress and a pair of heels that might cause me to fall down and break my neck tonight. I’m sure each cost more than my monthly salary.

  I roll my eyes. “Are you ready to go?” Cam asks with a smile, completely ignoring Ryder. “The car is here.”

  When we arrive at the theater and get out of the car, there are a few paparazzi there snapping pictures. Cam opens our door and Ryder gets out first and reaches in to help me out. Ryder is a good actor; by the way he is acting now, no one would know that he is really a womanizing flirt.

  Cam rushes us through the crowd and into the theater and an usher shows us to our seats. I end up between Ryder and Cam. When the music starts and the curtains open, I hear Ryder groan, but I try to tune him out. I won’t let him ruin this for me. I lean closer to Cam to escape the comments I can hear Ryder making now. I forgot just how great this is, I’m completely enthralled in the play when, I feel Cam’s eyes on me. I look at him and mouth “What?” He just shakes his head and gives me a huge smile that shows off his dimples. Those dimples make me feel like I have giant butterflies doing a conga line in my stomach. I am eventually able to look away a turn back to the stage. But I can feel his arm against mine on the armrest and it sends a shiver down my spine. I’m too busy wondering if the touch is doing anything to Cam that it startles me when he takes my hand and moves it down between us to hide the connection. My heart is pounding so loud, I’m sure the entire theater can hear it.

  When the lights come back on during intermission Cam quickly pulls his hand away. I’m sure it wouldn’t look good if Ryder’s new girl was seen holding another man’s hand. I glace over at Ryder to see if he noticed. He looks like he is just waking up, so he didn’t see anything. Not that he is my actual boyfriend, but I’m sure he wouldn’t like the press to see his “girlfriend” with another guy. Now, him stepping out on his girlfriend probably wouldn’t be a big deal to him.

  I feel weird holding Cam’s hand while I’m supposed to be with Ryder. I use the intermission as a chance to escape for a few minutes and reassemble my now jumbled thoughts.

  Chapter 18

  Camden

  When the lights come back on and Ryder finally wakes up, Elaina leaves us to go to the restroom. I can’t believe that I actually grabbed her hand. What if someone would have seen that? I just was taken by her reactions and her excitement.

  “Dude, this shit is boring,” Ryder grumbles. I was actually enjoying it, well the parts I saw when I wasn’t watching Elaina. “So I was thinking,” he continues, changing the subject, “maybe I could really try harder with Elaina during the tour, I mean she is hot. I can lay off the girls for a while. I know you don’t think I care about what the media says, but I do; I saw what happened to my parents. We can have some fun, improve my image and after the tour, we can go our separate ways. I’ll tell the media it was a mutual decision. No drama.”

  Then it hits me, I need to stop whatever this relationship with Elaina is before it goes too far and someone sees us. I would let my dad and Ryder down if I start something with Elaina now and we get caught.

  “Just promise me that you will only go as far as she wants. If she says no to any sort of relationship, respect her wishes and back off. I’m glad that you are working at this, but I need to know that you are not going to hurt her.”

  “How long have we known e
ach other? You know that I don’t treat women right, but I always tell women what to expect with me. No surprises. Any woman that gets hurt, they had plenty of warning, so that is on them. I know that you have become friends with Ellie, I wouldn’t be a dick to one of your friends.”

  Sure, Elaina and I are now friends. We aren’t in too deep yet, right? No one will get hurt.

  I sigh. I really wished that was true.

  Chapter 19

  Elaina

  These past three weeks have been lonely. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to Amy and Karen on the phone. I think that they can tell I’m homesick and keep trying to convince me to come home or let them come visit. I’m afraid if they visit, I’ll beg them to take me back home with them and I made a deal; I have to stick to it.

  The night in New York at the play, when I came back from intermission, it is like someone replaced Cam. He is still just as polite and thoughtful, but he’s been keeping his distance and won’t talk about anything personal. One minute he was holding my hand and the next it was like we were business acquaintances. My nightmares have continued and I have woken the guys up with my screams, but just explain it away as a bad dream. Cam is always the first one to my bed to check on me, but hasn’t held me again.

  Ryder on the other hand has been more flirtatious. He is trying to get me to go on a real date with him. He is a nice guy when he isn’t trying too hard to “get some.” We have had a few fake dates for the cameras and he has always been on his best behavior. But I’m not sure how much of this is the real him and how much for the cameras. He’s good looking in a bad boy rocker way, but I don’t know if I should give into him. We have nothing in common and I think he’s just looking for a good time.

  To make matters worse, I’ve been dreading the upcoming stop in Iowa. I haven’t been back since I left with Karen and Jackson nine years ago and I don’t know how I’ll react to being back. Especially now that I don’t have anyone here to confide in.

  “You coming to see the show tonight?” Ryder asks interrupting my thoughts. I think about it and decide that I need a night away from this bus. Sitting in here every night is doing nothing for my mood.

  “Sure, but I‘m going backstage.” I tried watching from the audience last week, to get a new perspective, but a few fans recognized me and started harassing me with personal questions about Ryder and our sex life. There have been a number of photos released of us including a very unflattering photo of me at that grocery store in Ohio. I have a feeling that Cam’s dad is leaking our whereabouts; I swear that I’ve seen the same photographer in multiple cities. What a crazy job that would be, following rock bands from city to city just to get pictures of them.

  “On one condition, you go out with me for a drink tonight after the show. A real date,” Ryder replies.

  I think about it. “Yes,” I agree with a glance at a now glowering Cam, who is sitting at the kitchen table pretending to ignore us while he types away. “But now I have a condition for you. This night isn’t going to end in your bed, just know that now and don’t even try.”

  Ryder just smiles, unaffected and I notice that Cam looks a little less tense now. Why does Cam care what I do anyways? He has made it perfectly clear that he isn’t interested, so why would he care if I go out with his friend.

  The show is amazing. What Ryder lacks in his manners, he more than makes up for in talent. They are on the last song and I kind of wish it was longer. Not only because I’m having a good time, but also because I wasn’t ready for a date alone with Ryder. I think I made a mistake, telling him yes. I decide that I will go through with it because I need a little fun, but I will tell him that I’m not interested in another date.

  After the song is over, an excited Ryder jogs to me and wraps his arms around me. Things are getting a little messed up in my head, maybe that is why I said yes. I have been pretending for weeks now in public that this guy is my boyfriend. We’ve had to kiss and touch like we are in love. But in reality, I don’t even know the guy. Is he hugging me now for show or because he is ready to take me on a real date? I would never allow a guy picking me up for a first date to hold me like this.

  Chapter 20

  Camden

  I’m sitting at a small, worn table at a club a few blocks from the stadium in St Louis. I insisted that Ryder bring me out with him tonight just in case there’s any trouble. Sure, I let him go out without me a few times a couple of weeks ago, but now that I need to stay away from Elaina, I’ve been tagging along. The only difference about tonight is, she’s here with him. On a date. I knew that when I told Ryder that he could try something with Elaina as long as he didn’t hurt her, it would ache to see them together. But to be honest, I didn’t think that she would say yes. Why did she say yes? I can tell now by her body language that she’s not interested.

  Ryder reaches for her hand and a second before he grabs it, she picks up her drink and halts the attempt. She takes a drink and looks around, pretending not to notice what she just did. I’m sure that I look like a creep, because I’m sitting here staring at them. Not even the waitress coming over and trying to flirt with me is making me break my gaze. A little annoyed, she leaves to get my drink.

  Elaina glances over at me with a slight frown on her face, but when her eyes meet my intense glare, she looks back to Ryder. She gives him the shy smile that I love and points to the dance floor. He winks and gets up from the table, takes her hand and leads her to a spot just in front of the D.J. booth. He’s in front of her now, his hands gliding down her body and settling on her hips. His mouth moves to her neck and I can see his lips trailing down further towards her slight cleavage.

  I can’t handle seeing this anymore, I need to leave. Walking up to Ryder to tell him I’m heading back to the bus, Elaina’s watching me. Is she just doing this with Ryder to mess with me? It seemed that before I started keeping my distance, that she wasn’t interested in him, so why now? I guess I kind of pushed her into his arms. I didn’t give her much choice. I can tell that she has been lonely and kept my distance anyways.

  ************************

  Tonight we are heading to Iowa for a show in Des Moines tomorrow night. I thought that Elaina might be excited since she’s from here, but she’s been pacing all day. I wonder if Elaina’s been back here since she lost her family. That could make it difficult to return. I decide to go and join Elaina at the table where she’s now reading and biting her lip.

  “Reading anything good?” I ask her.

  She looks a little shocked by my attempt to talk to her. “Yeah. I’ve been reading a lot. Thanks for getting me this e-reader. It has been a life saver on these long drives.”

  “I’m glad that you like it.” I smile at her. I don’t think that I can get close to her again without wanting to take thing further, but tonight seems to be hard on her and I can’t stand to see her so agitated, so I sit and talk with her for a while.

  The tense expression on her face slowly eases a bit as we talk.

  Getting to my feet, I say, “I’m going to grab something to drink, do you…” My words are cut short when a loud pop comes from the front of the bus. The bus jerks to the right and I’m jostled into the refrigerator door. Mike’s unable to correct the pull that the flat tire caused and the bus comes to a stop in the ditch.

  Elaina’s scream pierces the silence. I make my way to where Elaina is sitting on the floor rocking back and forth with her hands over her eyes.

  “Dude, what’s wrong with her?” Ryder asks.

  I’ve seen Elaina like this before; after her nightmares. I understand instantly what’s wrong. She’s back in Iowa for the first time since the accident, I’m guessing and we blow a tire and end up in the ditch.

  I lean in to whisper in Elaina’s ear, so low only she can hear. “Sweetheart, it’s all right. Everyone’s fine. We just have a flat tire. No one is hurt.”

  As soon as I start speaking, she stops screaming and clutches my shirt, though she is still sobbing. I rest my head on top of
hers and make shushing noises while I stroke her hair. I look out the window behind her and see the bright stars in the dark night and I have an idea.

  Chapter 21

  Elaina

  Lying in the tall grass, looking up at the brilliant, shimmering stars against the vast dark night causes me to feel more like myself than I have in years. After my panic attack on the bus, Cam got me out of there and away from the curious eyes of the guys. He grabbed a blanket and a bottle of whiskey and led me to a field while we wait for someone to come get the bus out of the ditch.

  “This is incredible. I never really stopped to look at the stars,” Cam whispers. “This is what you would do as a kid?” He hands me the whiskey bottle and I sit up to take a swig. It burns my throat. I’m not much of a drinker even though I work in a bar.

  “This is just like I remember it as a kid. Well, minus the whiskey.” He chuckles softly. “Sometimes I would lie out here by myself or my family might join me occasionally. When they did join me, we would just talk about everything and nothing.” A few tears escape now that I’m talking about them.

  “I’m sure that being back here is painful. Have you been back since you moved away?”

  I take another swig before I answer. “No, I never thought that I would be strong enough to come back here. I’ve been nervous all day and the bus going into the ditch, pushed me over the edge. Thanks for getting me out of there and for your idea.” I gesture to the stars.

  He lies back with his hands behind his head. The picture of ease and I relax back down as well.

  “See, you are strong enough to come here. The blown tire was unfortunate, but you made it through. I’m glad we have a chance to do this. I can see why you like stargazing so much.”