For Now (Forever Book 1) Read online

  “Good night,” we all reply.

  “You going, Cam?” asks Ryder.

  “No, I need to answer some emails. Take Mike with you and remember to keep out of trouble. I’m counting on you Mike and Caleb,” I say looking at the two by the door.

  They nod and they all head out. It is finally quiet and I can get some work done. About an hour after I get started, I hear a blood-curdling scream coming from the back of the bus and I’m out of my chair running back to Elaina. She is still in her bunk, but she is sitting up and sobbing. She is reaching for me, but I don’t think that she really sees me. I turn on the light, grab her and look her over for injury; not really sure what happened. When I see that she looks uninjured, I breathe a sigh of relief. I shake her a bit trying to get her to snap out of it before I put my arms around her and pull her to me. She is sobbing into me and clutching at my shirt as if she needs me there with her.

  “It’s okay,” I tell her, “It was just a nightmare. I’m here, nothing can happen to you. It’s okay.”

  I rock her back and forth. Her sobs slowly subside and her breathing becomes deep and even. Once I think she is asleep, I try to get up but she is still clutching my shirt, so I give up and reach up to turn off her light. I’m not sure what that was, but I’ve never been so scared in my life. What happened to this girl to give her that kind of nightmare? I lie awake for a few hours because I’m still too wired to sleep.

  Chapter 13

  Elaina

  Warm. That’s my first thought when I wake. I’m incredibly warm. I look down and see an arm wrapped around my waist. Oh my god. What did I do? I turn my head to look over my shoulder and see a sleeping Cam behind me. I watch him sleeping for a few seconds. I find it oddly fascinating. He is usually so busy that it’s weird seeing him at total peace. It takes me a few seconds to remember that he isn’t supposed to be there.

  I try to think back to what happened last night. The guys went out and Cam and I stayed here, though I went to bed and he stayed up and worked. Why would he have ended up in my bed? I’m freaked out, but probably not as freaked out as I should be. I feel comfortable with him and I don’t think he did anything. I’m sure there’s a good reason.

  I decide I need a shower and some time to think. I slip out of the bunk, trying not to wake Cam. I’m not sure that I’m ready to face him until I know how I feel about him being in here in my bed.

  When I get into the bathroom, I catch my reflection in the mirror out of the corner of my eye and I gasp. I turn to look at myself and see that my eyes are red and swollen. Exactly how I used to look when I woke up in the morning after crying myself to sleep. That’s when I remember everything. I had a nightmare. I was back in Iowa with my parents and brother, we were driving home after getting my dress and I had to watch from the side of the road as the old rusty sedan passed that truck and struck the front of our SUV. I knew it was going to happen, but I couldn’t do anything but stand there and watch it happen. I screamed. Cam. That’s when Cam came into my cubby and turned on the light. I reached for him. He held me and soothed me. He tried to leave once I calmed down, but I grabbed his shirt and made him stay with me. Oh my God, how am I ever going to face him now? I can’t explain what happened without explaining my guilt that caused the nightmare.

  I quickly jump in the shower and let the scalding hot water try to wash away my embarrassment from last night. Maybe Cam won’t say anything and we can both pretend that it never happened. I wish I could be so lucky.

  After the hot water runs out, I decide I’d better turn the water off since there are five guys that might want to take a shower at some point. Though I take my time getting ready, not wanting to go out there and see Cam.

  Eventually, I realize I can’t prolong it anymore. When I go out into the living area of the bus, I see that no one else is up yet. I decide that the only thing to take my mind off last night is baking and I did promise the boys a pie.

  Around 9:00, as I’m getting the pie out of the oven, I hear someone join me in the room. I know it is Cam before I even turn around. I pretend not to hear him and start cleaning the dishes.

  “Morning,” he says hesitantly.

  I continue doing dishes and mumble, “Good morning.” I just can’t get up enough nerve to look at him yet.

  “Would you like some help? I can dry,” he offers.

  “Sure,” I reply, thinking that if we were both busy doing something, we can postpone questions.

  “Are you doing okay this morning?”

  I know what he means by this question, but I pretend not to understand. “Yeah, doing well.” He looks like he doesn’t know what to say, so we both just work in silence for a few minutes.

  When we finish with the dishes I wipe my hands off, I finally look up at him. He is looking at me intently. “So…umm, does that happen a lot?” he asks me. I play dumb and hope he is talking about some other horribly embarrassing thing that happened. “Well, it seemed like you were having a nightmare last night. Do you want to talk about it?” he continues.

  “Uh, yeah, I guess I had a nightmare. I’m fine, I don’t even remember it anymore,” I lie. “I guess it was because I was in a strange place. Umm… thanks for comforting me last night.” I look down, not able to look him in the eyes anymore. “I know that Ryder left you in charge of me, but that really isn’t in your job description.” I force a laugh.

  “You really think that that is all it was? Of course, I would comfort you. We are friends, aren’t we?” He tips my chin up, so I’ll look at him. I shiver at his touch and his intense gaze.

  I give him a wide smile. “Yes, we are friends,” I say once the fog in my brain clears.

  “Good. Are you sure that you don’t want to talk about your nightmare?” he questions.

  “Yes, I’m sure. Like I said, I don’t even remember it.” He looks at me like he doesn’t believe me, but lets it go.

  “What would you like to do today? Ever been to Washington DC before?”

  “Nope.”

  “Well, what would you like to do? I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. I’ve been to the Smithsonian. That’s interesting.”

  Felling a little more like myself after the subject change, I frown. “I don’t want my first sightseeing experience to be something that you’ve already done. I want it to be something that neither of us has done before. So we both get a new experience.”

  “I really don’t mind going again. But if you insist that we must do something new, what do you have in mind?”

  I shrug. “I don’t really know what there is to do here.”

  “Let me make some calls and I’ll come up with something.”

  Chapter 14

  Camden

  “Segways?” she asks me uncertainly.

  “Yes, have you ever been on one?” I ask her.

  “No.”

  “Well neither have I. So we will both be able to experience this together. We are going to take a little tour around DC.” I smile at her worried look.

  “Well, that is what I requested. So let’s go,” she says a little apprehensively.

  Once we learn how to use the Segways, we’re off. She actually gets the hang of it very fast, while I on the other hand take a little longer. The guide takes us by the major sights. I love watching the look on her face every time we see something new. I’ve traveled my whole life with my family and now the band; I don’t ever have that feeling anymore when I travel. She is in awe of it all. She catches me watching her when we stop to take a break and she blushes.

  “What?” she asks me.

  “Nothing, it’s just fun to watch you. You are looking around like you’ve never seen anything like this before.”

  “We never really traveled. I’d never been to a big city until I moved to Chicago,” she admits with a shrug.

  “You do live in a major city now. This can’t be much different.”

  “I guess, but when I first moved to Chicago, I didn’t want to be there, so stayed home a lot, so I coul
d pretend that I was back in Iowa. I didn’t have to think about it. When I eventually went out, it just became home and the sights weren’t new to me anymore. It isn’t like I go around sightseeing. This is different.”

  I frown, wondering the reason she had to move there in the first place. “I’m glad that you are enjoying it.”

  She smiles at me and I smile back. We get back on the Segways to finish the tour. After the tour, we grab lunch from a deli and find a park to eat. We spend the rest of the afternoon talking and people watching.

  “I forgot to tell you, I got some tickets to a Broadway show tomorrow night. I can’t wait to see the look on Ryder’s face when I tell him. I’m coming too, just in case things get crazy outside the theater.” Plus, there’s no way I’m going to leave Elaina alone with Ryder. I love the guy, but I don’t trust him to be a gentleman.

  “Thank you so much Cam! I can’t wait. With school and work, it has been a long time since I’ve seen a play.” She wraps her arms around me in a tight hug and I can’t help but to think that I would buy her tickets to 100 shows to get that kind of reaction out of her again. She pulls away and looks a little embarrassed.

  I smile down at her. “I’m happy that you are so excited. I’ll let you be there with me when I tell Ryder.”

  “Um… no thanks,” she laughs.

  Chapter 15

  Elaina

  It’s so quiet. All the boys left for the concert about five minutes ago and I’m lying on the couch with my e-reader. I can’t wait to get some more books on here.

  I think Ryder was actually a little disappointed that I wasn’t going to watch the show tonight, so promised I’d be at the next show. I was exhausted after the long day and just wanted to relax tonight. Cam told me that it would be okay to take one night off since we would be at the play tomorrow night and we were sure the media would have a field day at the sight of Ryder seeing a musical.

  I laugh a little thinking back to Cam telling Ryder about the play.

  “There is no concert tomorrow night, so I thought that it would be a good opportunity for the paps to see you two together,” Cam tells Ryder.

  “Oh good, date night with my girl. So tell me, do good girls make it to second base on the first date?” Ryder asks, looking at me. I roll my eyes and can’t help notice the way Cam stiffens a bit. Ryder takes a drink of his beer looking smug.

  “Stop being an asshole. Actually, you get to see a musical on Broadway tomorrow night,” Cam says with a smirk.

  Ryder spits his beer out. “A musical? Why don’t you just kill me now and get it over with?”

  “Think about it, what a better way to show that you’ve changed than getting dressed up and taking a woman on a nice date that she would love. The media will go crazy over it.”

  “You two owe me for this one,” Ryder grumbles.

  “You are the one that brought this on yourself,” Cam reminds him.

  I can’t believe that Cam got tickets to a show that I’ve been dying to see. He’s the best. I’m still embarrassed about my reaction though. I know we are friends, but I don’t make a habit out of hugging my guy friends. I also don’t make a habit out of making them sleep with me because I had a nightmare.

  After reading for about an hour, I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. I must have dozed off, because I’m suddenly back in Iowa, in our SUV hanging upside down watching my blood drip down onto the ceiling. I see the farmer peeking in at me and suddenly, I’m being lifted. He needs to save my family this time. This time it can be different. I’m screaming, “Please you need to save them. Please! We can’t just leave them there, they need help! Momma! Braden! Daddy!”

  “Elaina!” the farmer says, but the voice doesn’t belong to him. It is Cam’s voice. “Elaina, wake up, it’s just a bad dream.”

  I open my eyes to Cam’s concerned, bright blue eyes looking down at me with concern. “Hey, it was just a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?”

  I swallow hard and try to catch my breath. I guess if I’m going to keep freaking out like this, I owe him some type of explanation. I won’t be able to admit my guilt though. I slowly nod my head yes.

  Chapter 16

  Camden

  I left the guys to their drinking. I still had some work that I needed to do and I trust Caleb to act like a grown-up and keep the guys in check. I get back to the bus and see Elaina sleeping on the couch with her e-reader still in her hand. After watching her for a few minutes, I decide to carry her to bed. As soon as I pick her up, she starts screaming. “Please you need to save them. Please! We can’t just leave them there, they need help! Momma! Braden! Daddy!”

  “Elaina!” I yell over her, trying to wake her, then more gently, I say, “Elaina, wake up, it’s just a bad dream.”

  Her eyes flutter open and the tears start falling. “Hey, it was just a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?”

  She looks up at me and nods her head. I sit down on the couch, still holding her, settling her on my lap.

  “I moved to Chicago with Karen when I was thirteen, because I lost my family in a car accident. I was in the car that night,” she admits in a whisper. Shit. I knew something bad happened to her, but I didn’t know exactly what it was. She continues, “A yellow sedan passed an old farm truck in a no passing zone. My dad did everything he could, but the car was just coming too fast. He really did try,” she says with a sob and my heart hurts for her.

  “I know,” I tell her, rubbing my hand down her arm to offer any sort of comfort I can.

  “The sedan hit the front of our vehicle and our SUV rolled and landed upside down. One minute, Braden and I were arguing in the back seat and the next, we were all hanging upside down in a ditch. The man in the old farm truck stopped to help. He told someone outside the SUV that my dad didn’t make it. He heard me whimper while I was trying to free myself from the seat belt. I needed to get to my mom and Braden to help them. The farmer told me that he was going to get me out and save me. I kept trying to tell him to save them first, but my voice wouldn’t work.”

  She is sobbing now and I’m having a hard time understanding her. I have no clue how she handled seeing her whole family die, I now understand the nightmares.

  “When I woke up three days later, Aunt Karen was there. She smiled when she saw my eyes open. She told me that I had swelling on the brain, I was in a coma for three days and my right arm was broken in two places. When I asked about my family, she looked down and started to cry. They were all gone. Karen took me in and gave me a home when I didn’t have anyone. I owe her everything. The last year has been hard on her, but she is always there for Jackson and me.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I tell her, “I can’t imagine going through all that. You are so strong.” I pull my fingers through her hair like my mom used to do for my sister and me when we were sad or sick when we were kids.

  “I’m not strong,” she yells. “You see how I still let it affect me. I’ve had nightmares every night since the accident. Though, I thought the waking up screaming stopped a few years ago. I guess not.”

  “You are strong.” I push her chin up so she will look at me. “You fought to live, you fight every day to get up and still find happiness. I saw the way that you were looking around the city today in amazement. You can still find beauty in the world after witnessing something so ugly.”

  She looks away again and whispers, “I wish I could believe that.”

  “I will see to it that you do,” I tell her raising us from the couch and putting her feet back on the ground. “Would it help if I stayed with you tonight? I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  “You wouldn’t mind?” I shake my head. “What did I do to deserve such a good friend?” she asks.

  Her words stung a little and I didn’t know why, but if I had to guess, it was because, I was starting to feel like we were a little closer than just friends. I ignored the feeling and replied, “I don’t mind. Why don’t you go get into bed? I’m going to close the curtain on my cubby
. I’m guessing that you don’t want anyone knowing about this.”

  “Good idea. No, I just don’t want to have to explain why you’re there and about the nightmares.”

  Once we are settled in bed, she reaches over, hugs me, and says, “Thanks for today.” A few minutes later, I can hear her deep even breaths.

  Does she really just consider me a friend? Is there going to be something between her and Ryder? He is a rock star and even though, she doesn’t seem so shallow, I’ve seen enough girls throwing themselves at him, to know that lots of girls would love to be in her shoes.

  These are the thoughts running through my head during the hour that it takes to fall asleep.

  Chapter 17

  Elaina

  We are now on our way to New York City. Everyone except Cam and I are still sleeping. Cam is working, so I decided to get up and make breakfast for everyone. I get to work, making eggs, pancakes, bacon, hash browns and sausage. These boys can sure eat. Soon after I make a pot of coffee, the boys start to trickle out.

  “Why did you have to make breakfast so early?” Alex asks yawning, “You know I wouldn’t be able to sleep, thinking about this delicious food out here.”

  “It’s 9:00.”

  “Exactly. It’s too early.”

  “Well, if you want, I can throw it out and you can go back to bed.” I walk the plate I made for him towards the garbage.

  “No,” he yells and grabs the plate from me, “I can manage. It isn’t like I’ll be the one sitting at a boring ass musical tonight.” He laughs.

  “Fuck you,” Ryder groans as he steps into the kitchen. “See? Totally lame, I’m never going to hear the end of it with these guys.”

  I just smile at him and finish serving up the food. Eric and Caleb soon joins us. I take coffee up to Mike. He has been driving since 4:30 this morning, so I’m sure he is in need of some energy. Though, he got to sleep at a hotel last night, so I’m sure he slept well.